The power of choices

We’d all have a difficult time listing the many choices, large or small, we make in the course of a day – some rather automatically, with little, if any, real thought. Choices made at some life junctures are more critical than others, and we sometimes forget that each choice we make affects our life.  In the course of time, most of us make a combination of both good choices and those that also trip us up, but every choice, good or not so, brings consequences. Will they benefit us, getting us what we really want in life?

Early on, parents and/or other adults made choices for us, some of which influence us throughout our lives. But not everyone is taught how to make sound decisions on their own, or perhaps do not fully grasp their importance. The fear of making the wrong choice is paralyzing for some, and they abdicate responsibility. When we do not have confidence in our ability to choose, we either allow others to make decisions for us, or we learn by trial and error, often making choices for wrong reasons.

The concept of “moments of truth” was popularized in business circles in the mid-1980’s to denote key moments and interactions that resulted in good or poor customer satisfaction. Likewise, we all have our own personal moments of truth. Some decisions -and their consequences – are more crucial than others. Do they reflect our values, bring us fulfillment and happiness?  Or do they make our way more confusing, uncomfortable, and uncertain?

Choices are often based on our needs, and our hierarchy of needs includes: basic survival – air, food, shelter, sleep, safety; social needs – belonging, relationships, community, love; need for self-esteem, independence, achievement; and need for self-actualization through personal expression, intellectual pursuits, and spiritual fulfillment. To examine your personal moments of truth, look to areas such as relationships, education, health, finances, career, spirituality.

Think honestly about some of your choices for each situation, and your reasons for making that choice. What was the cost? What was the benefit?  How did it affect your self-esteem? Did it shake your confidence or contribute to your joy and inner peace? What are the long-term effects? When you understand the motivation for your choices, it’s easier to change what doesn’t work or to make alternative choices. Like stepping stones, it becomes easier to reinforce what does work, and to more clearly and easily choose what you need and which paths you truly want to pursue.

Of course, life has unpredictable, unexpected occurrences, and sometimes, in spite of our best choices, things are not foreseeable nor within our control. Sometimes it’s easy to go with the flow; other times, it isn’t. Again, choices, attitudes, and perspectives help define us.  The perspective we choose in any situation impacts how we feel and the choices we make. Every living thing sees the world from its unique vantage point.  Will we focus singly on the problem?  Make choices as if we’re wandering in a maze? Or will we expand our perspectives, search for solutions, see more wonder, and focus on experiences that bring greater inner peace? No matter the choices, it’s important to make them with healthy reality based awareness and consciousness.

One of the fundamental challenges of adulthood is the freedom, and responsibility, to make choices for our lives. We are offered new experiences and opportunities to expand perspectives throughout our life’s journey.

Various studies tell us it’s important to feel one has a choice about what to do. Things are less stressful when it’s our choice. A few months ago, I suggested making a list of hopes, dreams, goals, things desired, yet were put off until “someday”.  To turn these things into actions, consider where you are now, and where you want to be “someday”. What are the gaps between the two and what do you need do to create necessary changes between who you are now and who you want to be?  What would it take to make that happen? Unless one of your desires is a career change, set career aside for now, and for the purpose of this list, focus on other aspects of life, such as travel, adventurous or creative experiences, reconnecting or strengthening relationships, volunteerism, personal or spiritual growth or renewal. If you need help with ideas, brainstorm with friends or family about some of their rewarding experiences or what inspires them.

You’re not looking for someone to copy; you’re looking for your own inspiration.  Perhaps there are things you enjoyed or dreamed of doing previously but have neglected along life’s way.  Do they still hold allure for you? What motivates you?  How do you want your life impacted?  How do you want to impact others?  Once you have started your list, take a look at it from different perspectives: things concealed from one point of view can be easily seen from another, and it’s possible to miss a fantastic view, idea, or solution by sticking to only one perspective.  Prioritize what can be accomplished easily and that which takes more work or time. With persistent steps toward accomplishments, confidence in making fulfilling choices increases, further enhancing your life experiences.

Moments and events of life will test us. We are all vulnerable, but we all get to decide the attitude we bring to our life, how we present in the world, and how we live.  Is this the best you can be?  The life you want?  Did you consciously decide or are you living parts of your life from happenstance?  People forget: our choices, the good and the less stellar, shape our lives.  Ultimately, whether by deciding, or by deciding not to decide, you make the choices determining your life’s path.  Consider if you need to take different actions: the life you live is largely reflective of the choices you make. Whatever those choices, make them consciously and wisely.